So...We're having another baby...Or not

That got your attention didn't it. 

Well, it got ours, too.

This one is a personal one, so you can stop reading if you don't like girl-talk.

But....If you choose to read it.... Make sure you read it all, k?

Here we go.

We got out BFP (Big Fat Positive) last week and were OOOOooo so excited. We were pregnant! Four (all positive) pregnancy tests later, we were sure and  pumped. Told our parents this past weekend.  Due January 17, my mom's birthday. 23 Months apart. Perfect. Bought AO her very own big sister shirt to wear around the house, so it could sink in with me.  Even had time to teach her to touch my belly and say baby. (So ignore that one if she does it to you.) Close in age will hopefully mean they will be close sisters. Because I just know it's a girl. (Silly, I know.)  I was already dreaming of a girly tweeny craft/music room instead of play room, making potholders and playing with baby dolls instead of playing play station, and hot pink and turquoise. (If we ever have a boy it's going to ROCK my world.)

Lets back up to 2010. Our first positive pregnancy test. It took soooo long the first time. We weren't trying - not like going to the fertility doctor trying. But we most certainly were not using any pregnancy precautions; and I was monitoring all that girly stuff you can monitor on your own to get pregnant. If that makes any sense. Then we lost the baby. And I cried. A lot. John did the "what if" game. A lot. And we grew closer. Our marriage got so much stronger.  Then (EXACTLY a year later TO THE DAY, total God Thing) AO was conceived. And (thank goodness) she had lots of baby magic (GOD) dust and stuck.

 But we never "struggled" with fertility problems. That's a different and much more difficult struggle entirely. We are just one of the millions of (what I consider) normal folks who can't flip the switch and have a baby.   In my crazy, glass-half-full way of thinking, I'm glad I never have to worry with birth control.

Back to the story.

So, last week, I made my doctor's appointments and signed up for blood work.

Then, Tuesday night, the bleeding started. Not to get too personal, but you can bleed pregnant. It's actually quite common. I never did with either of the past two pregnancies. Maybe a little spot, but this wasn't normal. It was worse than a regular cycle. The kind that wakes you up from dead asleep because you can feel it, not normal. (Sorry for the TMI!)

Long story short, we called the doctor, who suggested we come right in to the office. They wanted to do blood work and check the HCG levels.

Trying to get blood.  Not pleasant. 10 DIGGING sticks searching for a vein - even with the butterfly, the old timey syringe, 3 LPNs and 2 Lab Techs later for one itty bitty vial of blood out of the back of my wrist. That tender spot was the last resort, with the hospital lab expert they called in specifically to stick me. I seriously thought they would stick my foot any minute.  (In case you were wondering, I'm sore to match my black and blue today.) I was thanking my Granny again for her tiny, rolling, deep veins I inherited.

Later the same day, we got the dreaded phone call. "Your HCG levels are low. You need to come in tomorrow. It's really to early to make any conclusions, and Dr. E wants to do blood work again tomorrow." Heard that before. Like a 47 HCG at 6 weeks way too low. I knew exactly what this meant.  I keep up with these things. I knew my LMP and the conception date. This kinda bleeding with that number?

Possible miscarriage. Impending miscarriage. Whatever you want to call it.  But in my heart of hearts, I already knew the answer. I know what this means.

All I can say about this time... I thank GOD that this has been a faster process than last time. And that evidently getting pregnant wasn't as hard this time. (That's a bigggg whoopieeee!!! If you have ever struggled, you know what I mean.)  It's just staying pregnant that is the trouble.  And I am SO thankful that my body naturally miscarried (at least we're 90% sure) so that we don't have to go through the horrible waiting and waiting and DNC process. That part...where your brain plays tricks on you and you search online aimlessly for hours even though you know in your gut the truth....it is painful. Ultrasounds, bloodwork, more ultrasounds, misoprostol, then DNC, then more blood work drawn out over weeks so a quick closure is impossible. 

The only thing to do this time - keep getting blood draws until the HCG is zero. That I can handle. 

The God-given peace is SO extremely comforting this time. I don't have false hope. And I am so thankful for the peace.  I know it's better for me physically and emotionally. The first miscarriage was confusing, long, drawn-out and scary. This one - not so much.  I had another close friend go through one recently. And then, there's my bestie Kimberly's story.  Makes my little bitty suffering so much simpler.  And thinking about her pain makes mine hurt so much less. I truly don't know that kind of hurt and pain.  I have a child. I don't have a reason to make myself suffer this time. I am truly ok.

 Most people don't like talking about these type things. And I get it. It's personal. So very personal. But for whatever reason, it makes it easier for me to put it all out there. Plus, by putting it out there you get all the folks who tell you it happened to them. Which believe me, is a lot of people. When I think of my close circle, 75% have had a pregnancy loss of some kind. Blighted ovum, ectopic, molar. It happens, and it is extremely common. Maybe my thought is that by talking about loss, we up the chances that some girl out there will hear about it BEFORE it happens to her for the first time. Because that first time is the worst. So she's not so shocked and can handle it better. So she knows it is absolutely normal. Maybe, just maybe.

Or maybe it's more selfish. Maybe then we won't get the "so when are you having another?" questions, which I DREAD. If you aren't in my innermost circle, you don't get to ask that question. I hated it before Arleigh, too. I always want so bad to say (for 6 years before AO) "When God wants a baby to stick and grow in my uterus, you numb-skull."  (Not the most Christian like response, I realize.)  What do people think, anyway? What do you expect the answer to be? You want me to pull out my iphone tracker so you can see my ovulation cycle? (Sorry, I can be a little much at times.) If you are in the circle, you know all of this anyway.  So if you have friends going through this, for goodness sake be delicate on how you approach this situation.

I'm headed to go cuddle my precious (and ohhh so sweet) Arleigh right now. It's like she's extra cuddly just for me. :-)  My heart is definitely full with her. But there also seems to be a piece of our family that is missing. It's hard to explain. I'm just still torn on how the other piece of the family will fit. If you know us, you know I am oh-so-pro adoption. We have very precious members of our family and church who have adopted domestically and internationally - some because of fertility issues and some because they had that calling. But John has this idea that his kids are all biological. In my heart I know God will change his heart if it needs changing. Only God knows our game plan.  Maybe we'll be pregnant again in no time. Maybe God will make my family complete as it is in my heart. I'm not going to stress about it. That's all in God's plan. Just gotta trust it. 

The peace you feel when you just let go. That peace, the sweet relief that only comes from Him...I'm enjoying it. And I refuse to let this little bump in the road take my joy. I'm going to use it to draw closer. This life is way to short to spend it miserable.  So now you know. I really am okay with all this. 

Later Gators.  I'll leave you with this. Another Jesus Calling. Don't you just love it? There is something so comforting about Jesus talking directly with you. And I love this one. It's especially true right now. This one hits home. It's so hard to have this kind of trust and faith, isn't it? Trying to tell the human brain to not worry? But He loves us THAT much.

I, the Creator of the universe, am with you and for you. What more could you need? When you feel some lack, it is because you are not connecting with Me at a deep level. I offer abundant Life; your part is to trust Me, refusing to worry about anything.

It is not so much adverse events that make you anxious as it is your thoughts about those events. Your mind engages in efforts to take control of a situation, to bring about the result you desire. Your thoughts close in on the problem like ravenous wolves. Determined to make things go your way, you forget that I am in charge of your life. The only remedy is to switch your focus from the problem to My Presence. Stop all your striving, and watch to see what I will do. I am the Lord!

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
—Romans 8:31–32

But as for me, I watch in hope for the Lord, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me.
—Micah 7:7


Happy Memorial Day weekend to you and yours.

Arleigh O Update - and 14 Month List of Words

(Disclaimer - I am not keeping up with AO's baby book, so I've printed these little updates out for our reference. Just so you know.)

Well it was a busy first year at the Mansell's. Arleigh O is a pretty fabulous kid. We had a very easy first year, with the small exception of our Salmonella episode around 4-5 months. But we kept our cool, and we all survived without a scratch.

Now we're really starting to see AO take off with development. Especially vocabulary. She's really quick on her feet now as well. She doesn't really have a slow motion, which I'm sure is pretty accurate for most 14 month olds.  She loves climbing up and down steps - Shes figured out she needs to sit first, turn around and scoot backwards. She loves peek-a-boo and hide and seek. And she loves her patty-cake. Her roll-it-up trips me out!  She can throw a ball (the both hands over the head throw) and loves playing keep away with Clarence. Her favorite foods are English peas and The Chicken Salad Chic Scotty chicken salad. She loves that stuff. She also loves fish and ketchup, and garlic bread. Her go to meal if she isn't eating well is cheese toast and bananas. She absolutely loves mandarin oranges and peaches, but we've had to cut out a lot of acidic fruit because it really messes with her bottom.

Moving right along ----

NanO and Auntie Rose have forbidden the use of baby talk in our house, which probably explains why we have so many words. Plus we have conversations with AO. And we have from the beginning. We ask her questions and pause for her response. Even as tiny baby. And now, she won't hush, lol. She's usually so good and quiet when we are out. But at home when she's in her comfort zone, the kid can get LOUD. I declare sometimes she sounds like she's cursing us in baby, she seems so determined to say what she's saying. She's a mess.

Now at 14 months (which she turned yesterday), her vocabulary is REALLY taking off! John and I keep a running list of her words. I put an * by the ones she uses repeatedly in the correct context. Others are more sporadic.

• Da-da or Daddy*
• Ma-ma*
• Bye-Bye*
• Thank You (Dank Choo)* As funny as it sounds, this was one of her first words. Our ped thought we were crazy when we told him at her one year checkup. She says this one ALL the time. When she handed me the june-bug beetle yesterday, she said Dank Choo.
• Night-night (Non-Non)*
• Bath (Baff)*
• Please (Ease)
• Hey* (It's very much like the Fonz...Haaaaaaay)
• There (Dare)*
• Arleigh (Ahhhhleee. It's pretty darn cute.)
• Look (Dook) This one is her new favorite*
• Uh-Oh or Ruhh-Roh*
• Duck (Uck)*
• Quack (Ack)
• I Got (I Ga)
• Papa*
• JuJu
• NanO (Na Na)
• Libby (Bib-Bi)
• Millie (Mil)
• Clarence (Larra)
• Outside (Doutside)
• Ball
• Dog
• More (Mo)*
• Baby*
• No-No*
• Yes (Ess)*
• Come On (M'on)*
• Lion (Ion)
• Bubbles
• Bottle (Ba-ba)*
• Water (Wa-Wa)*

I'm sure there are more we are forgetting. Or we haven't translated yet.


What's really funny - it's not her vocabulary that is impressive to others. It's her fine motor skills. I can attribute a lot of this to letting her use her fingers to eat from about 6-7 months on. Just do it. It makes a huge mess, but they love it! And her whistle...Now seeing that is a hoot! 

On a side note, Arleigh has been bitten twice (confirmed) at day care, and two more times where it wasn't observed but from the marks we suspected biting. I've taught daycare and been around kids. Unfortunately, sometimes it's how kids communicate. It's part of the frustrations of not being able to speak yet having so much to say. I did call Mrs. T just to make sure AO wasn't the instigator, and in the last situation, they were just playing in a pile having a good ol' time when one little boy decided he was an alligator. Big sigh. But I also know AO is a bit of a rough player. She's the kid that runs up to a friend, snatches the passy, and runs like a thief in the night laughing the whole way. It's a game to her. I've seen her do it with Clarence. But at least there she's met her match. Sooo....There is a lot of growing up that will take place over the next year as they all sort out how to properly communicate. She's also a hair puller. Makes since. She can destroy a pretty hair bow in about 15 seconds when it's discovered. And yank out the pony tail in the process. Problem is...I think she may be doing it to friends, too. Big sigh. And no, I am NOT going to teach my kid to bite or hit back. She'll end up shoving them in the play oven again on her own time. Bless it. She's such a little tomboy. Skint up knees and mud-puddles Saturday, picking up bugs yesterday. Not a whiner either. Just a tough cookie who keeps on trucking.

Discipline wise, we have started using a time out method at home, which surprisingly has worked. She's really only been in trouble at home for playing in Clarence's food and water. (Which is Clarence's domain, and could turn into a dangerous situation.) One Saturday she was in it repeatedly. I held her arms down facing the corner and counted out loud to forty as a time out method. It took three times that day, but she hasn't been back in his bowls yet. Yes, it probably is a little young. But it worked. Now she can walk towards it, I can say No, she jumps and RUNS in the opposite direction. Whereas before, she didn't pay me ANY attention when I said No. I don't necessarily like the popping idea just yet. I popped her one time for playing in an electrical outlet after being warned. She didn't cry, but she looked at me like I was crazy. It's not for us.  But we do grab her little hands and hold them when she does something naughty and tell her No ___. (Like throwing food on the floor or pinching or hitting.) It gets her attention WAY more effectively than a pop did. She looses control of the situation, which she can not stand. Of course it's followed by cuddles and kisses. Usually sloppy,  just eaten and made a massive mess hugs. (Gross, but I'll take whatever I can get.)

I gotta say, this toddler era is pretty exciting! It most certainly keeps us on our toes!
Did you know that it takes 12 hair washing episodes and three days to get Aquaphor out of a baby's hair? Ummhuh. Just ask Arleigh. We finally pulled out the dawn dish washing detergent. It's some tough stuff. Sunday morning right after we got up and were getting ready for church. That would be why we didn't make it. She was a HOT MESS. Toddler hood. I think you can tell we're in for a wild ride. :-)

But she's a sweet hot mess. Most parents DREAD bedtime. Now, we do bed right after bath time. It's straight into our PJs for prayers and night-night time. She kisses her Clarence dog on her mobile from Aunt Rosie, gets under her blanket and kisses her doll. We sing the Barney song (she has no clue who Barney even is yet) and then Mama leaves. You know what my kid does when I leave her room? Waves and tells me bye-bye, night-night and then gets the giggles. No bottle necessary. She really is such a sweetiepie.  Eat. Her. Up.

I am that Mom - THE FIRST YEAR

My surrogate big sis from college McCall over at Finding our Way --- Lee, Me and the Girls is doing a series called I am that Mom. It has me thinking. What kind of (albeit new) mom am I? Where have I succeeded in this first year and what would I do differently? There's no failure with new moms, just survival mode.

First, I am that Mama who thinks I have the prettiest baby on the planet. I know, I know. Moving right along.

I am that mom who let the list of expectations about motherhood fly out the window even before Arleigh arrived. Failed expectations (for myself, the hubs, new baby, or even the grandparents) could leave me feeling hurt, and there is no point in having pitty parties with a baby at home. I set my expectations low. Really low. (Thank goodness for a Mama who knows when I need a massive dose of reality.)  When you end up in the hospital a month earlier than expected and you come home with a baby (to a nursery your family had to pull together) after an unexpected c-section, you realize real quick there is no point in having expectations. Honey, it's about survival.  We've had a pretty crazy first year. Her early arrival, c-section, NICU, breast feeding not working, salmonella, her acid burnt bottom, 6 months of runny noses, 5 months of ear infections leading to ear tubes, low iron...but yet, when I look back on it, it was absolutely nothing compared to what some Mamas face. Absolutely nothing. You have to laugh about it and keep on trucking. I'm just thankful we've (almost) made it through the first year without any major issues. She's a statistic (4 in Alabama) on the CDC website for Newport Salmonella outbreak of 2012. Way crazy, yes?

When your 75 year old neighbor says her child slept through the night when they came home from the hospital, I am that mom who laughs in the face of said elderly neighbor. (Not very nice, I realize.) Don't believe the "my baby slept at so and so" hype. One, itty bitty newborns need to feed. Two, their version of night may be 4 hours, or they may not remember. I am that mom that lets her baby cry at night if I know she is full and fine. Not a ridiculous amount (although probably ridiculous for some of those never cry parent types), and not when she was teeny-tiny. It did help put her on a schedule early.

Although now, I am that mom that wishes my baby was still getting up at night, because I miss all the quiet moments with her on my shoulder. All the moments you wish away you wish back once that period of babyhood is over.  And you may even wish for her to occasionally feel just sick enough to want to lay her head on your shoulder. That said....

I am that mom that will intentionally wake up my sleeping baby because as a working Mama, I don't get enough time with her. Even with Arleigh 11 months old, I get all sad thinking about her as a bitty baby 6 or more months ago, when she needed me at night to come to her rescue with that bottle. Or just needed me. That phase ended so quickly. It's a catch-22. You want them to sleep on a schedule, but yet you miss their sweet smelling squishy baby goodness when they don't need you. She's so incredibly independent. Scares me a little. Even when I wake her, she is NOT Miss Cuddly Sweetness. With all 4 of us piled in our king size bed, she's my wild little 11 month old, gigglying loudly, crawling and sliding off of Clarence (the 80 pound lab-brother), bouncing up and down at the end of the bed, climbing the headboard,  sticking her fingers up her Daddy's snoring nose, or sticking her fingers in my mouth to inspect all my teeth. (She's always on an adventure!)
 
I am that mom that wishes I could do better at prioritizing my life and spending time with family. I have a bad, bad, habit of over scheduling my life, and John and Arleigh are the ones that are missing out because of it. They need me.  Prime example - I'll be in the grocery store picking up some kind of fabulousness for an over the top menu with family or friends. When truthfully, they would be just fine with pizza. They all need my time. Not just my time as a Mama, but my time as a wife, daughter, or a friend.

I am that mom that didn't do a great - or even good - job of making church a top priority for our family this year. We fell out of the habit again, and with John working on Saturday, we let Sundays become our family rest/together day, and didn't really give ourselves a day for church family. Arleigh does great at church - mainly because it's the same place she goes to school, so I can't blame this one on her. Bad habit that needs breaking. If you haven't read Angela Thomas's 52 Things Kids Need from a Mom, it's a must read.  I evidently need to read it again. Mainly the part about....scratch that. ALL of it.
 
I am that mom that gets jealous of the time Arleigh gets to spend with her Daddy, and the time Daddy gets to spend with Arleigh. This one is hard for me. I take Arleigh to school in the morning, and her Daddy gets to pick her up noonish and spends all afternoon with her until I get home. Because I'm a working mama, sometimes I don't get home until bath and bedtime. (Which is why I sometimes wake up my sleeping baby.) John gets so much more time with her, which makes me so sad because I miss out. I'm thrilled they have a great relationship and he's an awesome daddy. But I do wish it was me who got to be all motherly.

I am that mom that tries really hard to stop and capture memories. And not memories for Arleigh. Memories for myself and John.  I really thought you had kids so you could revert back to silliness and go to the zoo whenever you want. If it's not, I am so confused. I get the raising your own kids to be outstanding adults, Christian leaders, and citizens part, too. But I'm after the fun factor. :-) We've got a long life after she's grown to have a clean, organized house.  My mom is the one who told me this bit of news. One day, you are going to look back and realize it's about making memories for yourself as much as it is for them.

I am that mom that will let you borrow my baby to make your own memories. I've tried really hard to be generous to those who want to spend time with Arleigh outside our home during this first year. She's spent the night with other family already, and typically if someone wants to keep or see her we've made it work out. From our own experiences, it's really easy for new parents to shelter your baby - even unintentionally - from family, which can make them feel shut out, unloved and undervalued. (I can speak from experience on this, even when you don't mean to do it, it hurts.)  I'm trying really hard to let Arleigh develop her own special relationships with extended family members, and let extended family feel like an important part of her life. This doesn't come naturally; you have to work at it. Especially when you have multiple sides to the family. But I have to remember she's part of everyone who's a part of me, and they need to have time with her, too.

That being said, I am that mom who has to bite my tongue a LOT. Because I do value the relationships in our lives, I try to play the role of diplomat a little too much.  Although she is MY baby, and she came from MY womb, some folks feel like she is THEIR baby. (Ok, so I guess I did need to get that off of my chest after all.) This is one of the few things that has left me in tears this first year. It's so hard knowing that you are the new mom and you think know what's right for your child, yet sometimes you feel like you are standing in the middle of a school of fish moving in the opposite direction. I think most moms get a taste of this at some point or another. What do new Mama's who think they are right do? What they know is best and put in ear plugs for the rest.  I'm definitely learning that what I may view as all out defiance from some folks against my wishes is simply a gigantic misunderstanding.  Just keep the peace....someone has to do it. Moving right along....

I am that mom who is most definitely still learning and growing. It's a challenge and an adventure. But she's loved. So very, very, loved. And she's absolutely adorable. Did I mention that part?

How are you doing on Mommyhood? What did you wish away with your babies that you wanted back?

Putting the Christ back in CHRISTmas

Our first Christmas with Arleigh was a wonderful mix of different. It was our first Christmas without the last patriarch in the family, my Pop, which meant this was the first Christmas with new traditions of our very own.          

Our first new tradition... Christmas brunch at our house. I've never been home for Christmas (always with the Junkin side), so this was all new to me. I did a trial run of what we were having at AOM's birthday party.  Hot ham and swiss sandwiches, Pluck it bread, Chicken Salad, Pasta Salad, Christmas Day breakfast casserole, fruit....It was very yummy in our tummies. :-)

On to the presents.  AOM is one lucky little lady. The grandparents, Aunts, Uncles and Cousin supplied her with this load of LOOT. We need a bigger house because of it. NO JOKE. After the Mansell, Sansing, Junkin sides of the family, plus my friends who are family, Arleigh O was racking up the stuff. Our car was loaded to the ceiling 3 times with stuff. She got more at one stop than most kids get all Christmas. This is just a sampling....

 Then Santa came and supplied her with this load of loot at our house Christmas morning. Santa doesn't wrap in our family. Does Santa wrap for you?   Santa brought AO the little people first farm, which I got on my first Christmas. My Mama didn't tell me until after Santa came. How cool was that!  (Great Mama's think alike, apparently!) She also got the Little People doll house, which has a flushing toilet. Her first baby baseball, a xylophone, and her first cabbage patch doll. Which brings us to this...

Gifts of the Magi - Christmas gifts with a little more Biblical Meaning

Before we even get started, I am in no way saying the overload of presents is wrong for your family. I'm doing this for my family because: 

• Arleigh is more than blessed with plenty of stuff from the Grandparents, aunts, uncles, great aunts, cousins, friends...you get the idea.  I don't think she will miss out on any presents.
• We don't have room for much more "stuff" - We are busting at the seams of our little bitty starter home.
• Mama needs a budget and expectations on what is acceptable. I need to buy presents worthy of lasting and not just "stuff" to fill up space. The presents need to have a meaning or a substance. I need to think before I buy.
• There will always be three presents, which (you've got to admit) makes it much easier when shopping. Not to mention one day with sibling rivalry. 
• If we start this now while AO is young, it will be our own tradition as a family. One that they will hopefully want to pass on to their kids.
• I really think we're raising a generation of kids who expect the latest and greatest at all times. (This applies to me as well.....Have you seen her smocked dress collection?) Toning it down and honing it just a little will (I hope) have dramatic results one day. It can't hurt.
• And the biggest reason? There is not enough Christ in Christmas.

We've talked with Santa and decided it's time to get a little more perspective on Christmas. From now on, children in the P&J Mansell house will receive four presents. We had discussed doing this this year, but I let folks talk me into the "it's her first Christmas, you have to buy more" mentality, which was (excuse the word) stupid. This year, Arleigh got traditional Santa, PLUS her Gifts of the Magi. Not again. There is no point in going this overboard on presents. Mama and Daddy need boundaries. My kids need to realize the real meaning of Christmas - which has nothing to do with presents.

The biggest benefit for Christmas presents with biblical perspective - If three gifts were good enough for baby Jesus, why shouldn't they be good enough for our own kids? Why do we have the "keep up with the Jones" mentality, when we should be worried about keeping our kids on the right track with their heavenly Father?

From a budget perspective, we can reign in requests to fit whatever budget we set. There is no point in an overflow of stuff that is used or played with for two months and then forgotten. It requires us - as parents - to actually think about the gifts we are giving.  When Arleigh is older, it will require honest discussions about the biggest point of Christmas - the birthday of Jesus. Imagine that thought - Christmas is about CHRIST.

When I was first searching online and asked for ideas on Facebook about traditions within your own family for Christmas, I was surprised with the friends who already do some type of variation of the three present rule. They may not tie back in to the categories directly, but they set boundaries for themselves and their kids for a holiday that is becoming more and more excessive each year.





Present 1. Christmas Eve night PJs from Mama and Daddy. Just like baby Jesus got swaddling clothes. (for 33 years I have always had Christmas pjs, so this one just has to stay.)

Present 2, from Santa. Representing Gold. This is their big ticket item, or the item they would like to have the most. It can be a gift for the entire family, or it can be a gift of enduring value.  Like dance or swimming lessons, or a trip to make memories with the family. Or a keepsake piece of jewelry.  This year, Arleigh is the proud new owner of two Britax Car seats.  (Which, by the way, she absolutely loves.)

Present 3, from Santa. Frankincense.  Back when baby Jesus received Frankincense, it was a comforting, holy anointing oil. For Arleigh's purpose, the gift that represents Frankincense is a spiritual gift. Something that can further her relationship with God. One day, it could be a new bible, Christian CDs, the cost for a special retreat or church trip, or a new devotional book. This year, she got Noah's ark and a Veggie Tales movie. 

Present 4, from Santa. Myrrh. Myrrh was used when someone died, to clean their body. This one is always a little harder for me to make a literal present. One day, this could be lotions, new towels, bath robe, makeup or house shoes...you get the idea. Cleanliness is next to Godliness. This year, Arleigh is getting a bathroom redo, which (don't tell her) we were planning on anyway.

I should probably mention that within our little family four-some (Me, John, dog-child Clarence, and 10 Month Arleigh) we really don't do a ton of presents. I couldn't tell you the last time John bought me something for a birthday or holiday on his own. We're just not holiday gifters. Givers, yes. But within out little family, it just isn't a priority. We give to each other with what we want year round, or I just buy what I want. I have friends who would go insane at the thought of no present from the hubs at Christmas or your birthday. It's just not on the list of battles I choose to pick. It's really not that big of deal in the grand scheme of things. Yes, I've had my feelings hurt before. And maybe one day Arleigh O can take dear old dad shopping like we did with my Daddy years ago. 

Maybe presents are more important to your household, and this would never work. And that's fine, too. As long as your kids know the real reason for the season, the message is in their hearts.

Daddy, The Lab Child Clarence, 10 Month old Arleigh

The memories from Christmas are my favorite part of the holiday. Especially this one. I was conked out on the couch for THE FIRST Christmas afternoon nap, and woke up to this precious sight. My three loves playing in the new doll house. (Inspecting the above mentioned flushing toilet.) Such a sweet sight, and a very, very, precious memory.

We didn't get in our Birthday Party for Jesus this year. Hopefully next year. I already bought Happy Birthday Jesus plates and napkins, so we have a head start! 

Hope your Christmas was a fabulous as ours!  What are your favorite Christmas traditions?

Family Really is Everything

In order to know where we are in life, sometimes you need to know where we've been for it all to make sense. 

For the first years or so of my life, Christmas eves were spent at my MawMaw and PawPaw's, opening presents from Aunts and Uncles and watching for Rudolph's nose in the sky with Uncle Bruce. Once the Sansing family started changing generational hands, my Daddy took it upon himself to make sure we keep the traditions alive. Now we meet for Sansing Christmas at the Camp. 

For the past 33 Christmases, I've gone to my Pop and Granny's on Christmas day.  Junkin Christmas was a little different this year, too. We had it early, at my Mama's house. There were no traditional pictures in front of the tree with unintentionally coordinated outfits. It was different, but a good different. It's a hard pill to swallow when generations and patriarchs leave. But, I am ever-so-thankful that both sides of my family view family togetherness and family relationships as the most important thing in life.  They really do. I'm closer to some of my second and third cousins than most people are to their first cousins. Some of my first cousins (that's you Danielle and Brock) are more like siblings to me. And we're closer than most siblings. And to us, it's absolutely normal.  Family is the only way to keep tradition and family values alive. We actually love each other....and for the most part, (GASP) actually really like each other!  

The new era in the family is a little different. People these days are more scattered. Mama's and GrandMama's have to go to work. Daddy's have to work on the weekend. We can't go to my Mama's and have lunch every Sunday for Arleigh and Swayze to make their own memories, and it really stinks. The thought of me and Brock fighting over the last chicken leg at Maw Maws, creating mysteries in the scary closet, almost stepping on a rattlesnake, milking cows, gathering eggs, feeding goats, feeding our summer watermelon rinds to the hogs....the list for our "old" Sundays goes on and on. 

Or the fact that Arleigh can't just get off the bus at NanO's every day. She's not going to spend nearly as much time with her grandparents as I did throughout my childhood. Granny's was HOME for me. And it's not that we don't want Arleigh to grow up the old way, but for the fact that miles are between us now.

I learned to cook and put on a spread from Granny. I learned hospitality from Granny. I learned values and love from Granny. My secrets died when she did. Just like Josh learned everything from Pop. They were our neighbors and our grandparents. It was our own little island away from the world. When I'd run away from home, I'd run through the woods to my Granny. (And my Uncle Richard, too.) There we were perfect. There we were loved. There we got to be kids. Real kids, with no TV (oh the horror!). We'd get off the bus in the afternoon and be greeted with a special snack and half of one of Pop's canned cokes. On rainy days as a treat we would play in the junk room upstairs. We'd play dress up, store, library....or (my favorite role) Shirley Temple from the littlest princess. (With my pretend fire place while I read books on apple boxes.) And can you even imagine...My favorite books growing up - My granny's and my Mama's. I loved Nurse Cherry Ames, the old Nancy Drew, all of Laura Ingalls Wilder, Box Car Children, anything by Grace Livingston Hill or Louisa May Alcott. (I've often said I was born in the wrong era! Bet you didn't know that about me!) When it was pretty, we played in the barn, picked catawba worms, peas, or muscidimes, went fishing (but you better have Pop's permission), played behind the old chicken coop in our pretend play house that didn't exist. Or when we got older and would go down in the bottom, and cross a fallen tree to our little island in a washed out gully and play war with sling shots and find pieces of old bottles and broken china, because of course our island was the middle of an old dump. A whole different world from the way Arleigh gets to grow up now. A world most kids - and even adults today - have never seen. A world where you couldn't mow grass, fish or even hunt on Sundays. They were about church and family. A world where Grandmothers were always home, and always would stir up something special just for you...just because you were you. A world where you put on a spread every night for supper, because that was your gift to the family. It was a very different world, but a beautiful, much simpler world.

That's our biggest challenge as a family. How do you still let kids be kids? I didn't grow up with Mario Brothers. I grew up with a real brother.  We didn't have those kind of things.  How do you make sure family gets to still be family? How do you make sure that kids spend enough time with family to really understand where they came from and where they are going?

We're all a work in progress, aren't we. Figuring it out day by day. That's my challenge to myself for 2013. More family time, and then even more. We've only got one family, and I want Arleigh to know how important it really is to who you are as a person.  We're lucky, because my family is made up of pretty awesome individuals that would be great influences, in their own way, on Arleigh. I want her to be well rounded because she's made from a village of people. How do you do? Do you let others influence your child, or do you think it's all on you?

I am a KLUTZ...

All my life I have been a klutz. If someone is going to fall and embarass themself, it's usually me.

My latest boo-boo.....


What you can't see is the nasty swelling and black toe. I did it up right.
Managed to fall in my own drive way. 2 inches from grass, as John keeps telling me.
I went to Dr. R for my followup. He was more concerned with when was my last tetanus shot. Great.

Speaking of the follow up. We're all good, both emotionally and physically. We're just praying for God's timing and direction.

A Kinda-Sorta Update Part 2

Whew. My doctor R is back! And I feel special. :-) His nurse called, and he (my doc) spent 10 minutes talking to John, then called back to talk to me. (Seems kinda funny for the hubs to be talking with my doc about my girl stuff, but that makes him quite the good husband.) We're going for a "check everything out" appointment Thursday, and then we'll have the d&c Monday.

Fingers crossed there are no cancellations this time. Fingers crossed I get caught up at work so I'm not so stressed out with so much to do. We're 12 days out from the dealer market in Chicago, and I have a ton to do! (FYI, my daytime job is in marketing for a sales firm in the hardware business. We rep about 30 lines, and our office handles 2 hardware shows a year. Fall Market this year is in Chicago, and I'll be gone with 99% men for 8 days.)

So, prayers all goes as planned. :-)