I've started a journey trying to find a church (as a family with John) and trying to do better listening and praying to God. I grew up with a strong faith foundation, but I've wandered a little aimlessly in the past several years, not really focused on what God has in store for me, but more of what I could do for myself.
Finding a new church home is one of the most difficult things I have done in my life. If you're not from the south, you may not understand the entire church family thing. I have Had the same church "home" my entire life. I've visited multiple churches in Tuscaloosa, but nothing could compare to my home family church. Southern churches are social and family networks. Everyone attends the same church for generations, you sit on the same pew with all of your family on Sunday and you leave for Sunday lunch as a family afterwards. Trying to find that new church family has been one overwhelming task! Now it's time to find a new church family.
I've made other decisions lately, also. One of the biggest was to slack off with Daisymaes. Having two full time jobs has been rewarding, but not what I need to be doing with my life right now. I've decided to focus on my family and real job (which I do love) and slack off with Daisymaes. We'll be focusing more on just the website, and less on traveling doing shows and markets this year.
Do you ever feel like God just knows what you need to hear?
These past few weeks we've started baby steps. I've been doing a lot of reading, praying and talking with friends about my faith and the difficulties we have in our walk with Him. I've started searching seriously for a church home, listening to more Christian music and radio, I've started a prayer journal, I've started daily devotionals. These are baby steps, but they are steps.
He's been "stepping on my toes" a lot these past few weeks, really tugging at my heart. It's been quite a struggle for me to learn just to be quiet, open up the Bible, open up my heart and listen. It's been so long since I've been in that quiet place, and it's definitely taking some adjustments for me to start building back the relationship with Him.
This morning's devo was on Joy in the Doing. It was about how many of us, as Christians, don't want to know the will of God. We don't want to stop and listen. Much less take joy in whatever it is He calls us to do. Maybe it touched me so because I typically know the difference between right and wrong, yet the wrong can be so much more fun and exciting! There have been so many moments where I've ignored my conscious and ignored God. We all do it. We all think we know what is best for us in our own lives.
Maybe it touched me because I'm on this massive search for joy in my life. True JOY!
I had a really good friend tell me this past weekend to basically give it up. Until I find God's joy, I wasn't going to be happy. (I LOVE my friends.)
I'm learning the real joy in our life comes from DOING God's will, not just KNOWING God's will. Now comes the exciting part, can I be quiet enough to listen?